Learn to Date Slowly
With swiping on dating apps and the hookup culture taking over the modern dating scene, today’s dating scene moves at lightning speed.
When fast-paced dating is considered the norm, slowing down the dating process may make you feel out of place or old-fashioned, which is understandable. But slowing down the dating process is beneficial to taking your relationship to the next level.
When you date slowly, you use that time to get to know the other person on a more personal level than you did during the initial attraction stage. You can really pay attention to how compatible you are with someone.
If you’re looking to add some intention to your dating process, follow these five suggestions for dating slowly and deliberately:
What Your Dating Goal?
This is perhaps one of the most missed steps in dating intentionally. We don’t even know why we are dating sometimes.
- Are you simply attempting to meet new people and discover what interests you?
- Are you ready to settle down and find a partner for the rest of your life? Or maybe you want to take it slow and see what happens.
Decide on a dating objective before you start dating.
What Are Your Values?
Values really do matter! And they can be the first sign that someone really isn’t quite
a good fit. Write down your values and pay attention to whether or not potential
matches are compatible with them. Think of your personal values as a North
Star that directs you throughout your romantic life.
Don’t Rush! Give yourself a couple of dates before making a final decision.
We can be so quick to dismiss someone or on the other hand just jump right in from first date to relationship. One of the most rewarding aspects of dating slowly is the opportunity to get to know someone on a more personal level as time goes on. While first impressions are important, it is best to go on a few dates with someone before making a final decision! That will give you both enough time to get over your first date nerves, or for you to notice if anything is off about the situation. Those ignored red flags come back to bite like zombies.
As the great Dalai Lama put it: A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity. Be open and honest about your goals and expectations. You are under no obligation to begin planning your marriage or deciding on the names of your children right away. However, if your long-term goal is to get married or have children, you should discuss this with your partner before you commit to anything beyond the dating stage.
Be present to communication patterns and interests. How does the person you’re dating interact with not only you but others? We all like to bring our representative self to a date, and if you pay close attention you get glimpses of the reality. Practice paying attention to on a date.
Slow dating allows you to take your time and imagine how someone will fit into your existing life. You get to know someone and can determine how respectful they are, whether or not they share your values, and whether or not you have similar lifestyle choices or aspirations.
You don’t have to be perfect in your relationship, but the person you choose to commit to should complement your lifestyle!